Dear Department of Obsolete Industry Staff,

As you may have heard (literally), the DOI has joined the larger government in spending massive quantities of tax dollars on advertising—we’re on the radio! In recent years, Canadians seem to have been losing their appetite for the national seal harvest, so we’ve contracted one of the most prestigious international advertising firms to craft a new campaign. We’re basically blaming seals for pretty much everything.

In the new radio spot we’ve made a correlation between the growth of the seal herd and the poor showings of Canadian hockey teams over the past twenty years. Luckily very few Canadians can tell the difference between correlation and causation—including us!

So take a listen, and rest easy knowing that Canadians will soon understand the threat that seals pose to our prosperity, security, and sporting success!


The Honourable Wayne Mustardson, M.GS., AAA

Minister of Obsolete Industry